Michelle was a blonde blue eyed beauty that was also the life of this family. When ever there was to be a party everyone said she had to be there as she was the fun in the party. She never complained about very serious things that happened in her life. She would just say it's okay and go on. During her life she was in two car accidents was not seriously hurt in either. She and her family also two house fires losing everything and still had the good outlook to go on. She will always be my hero. She did want to know why this happened to her but also told me she had made her peace with God. All she kept saying was she wanted to see her girls grow up.

My name is Connie and I lost my best friend/daughter on April 13, 2004 to cancer. She had gotten sick in July 2003. We where told she would need her gallbladder removed and everything would be fine. After a few weeks more of pain she wound up back in the hospital, now they said they missed a stone and had to insert a stent to open the bile duct. She was transfered to supposedly one of the best hospitals around in NJ. Finally after 6 weeks of sitting in the hospital doing test after test, they decide now she had a blockage in her intestines so did major surgery for that. (This whole time my instincts told me it was more serious. I begged the doctors to check her for pancreatic cancer. They kept insisting she was to young and that was not needed but all the while displayed all the signs. The pain and suffering she had to endure was heartbreaking but with the doctors words, she had hope. She was in and out of the hospital on 5 different occasions. Again she had to be admitted to the hospital this time in Feb. of 2004 and we did not know that she would never leave alive.

She has 2 girls, one turned 11 five days before and another who is six. These girls wanted to be able to hug and love Mommy like before but because of the tubes and pain most time to touch her caused even more pain so they had to learn to love her from a distance (not knowing this was going to be a life long ordeal). A week after being admitted, the doctors came, after her sister and I insisted to have some answers again, we where told the news with the assurance she had 6 months to a year. 8 weeks later she was gone. To watch the life being sucked out of a women who wanted to see her girls grow and marry and not be able to change the outcome is something I could not have imaged I could have gone thru (and still don't believe it has happened) There where no words that I could give her to bring her comfort or make things better. Isn't that what Moms are supposed to do??? I was there to give her the care she needed, even sleeping at the hospital sharing shifts with her husband and her sister. The night before she passed she begged me to stay but my car had been repoed and I had no way to get back up as my mother had brought me (I had no idea this would be the night before.) She said "Mom, I am so scared I am going to die and you won't be here with me." I did not tell her I did not want to see her die, how could any mother?

The next morning I got there she was very out of it but did manage to see me and know I was there. My heart was ripped out when the doctors came and said we are looking at the end. She waited long enough for the families to get there. She had told her youngest that when she went to heaven she would have a purple gown with green wings as green was her favorite color. In the evening she was really struggling and the hardest thing I have ever had to do was to lean into her ear quietly so others did not hear and tell her "I love you with my whole being and it's okay. Go and get your green wings." She was gone 5 minutes later and I can't stop missing her or stop crying. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better and I must go on. I don't know how to do that. I took care of her for so long it was part of my everyday life and now that is all gone. I know she is watching over me as she always worried how Mom would be. I wished I had said so much more but she assured me every day she loved me more than life. She even took the time to get her sister buy me a book about Mother's and write something special in it. She made her sister promise to give it to me on Mother's Day. As hard as it is to read I hope I never lose sight how precious this gift is and how everlasting our love will be.

Michelle always liked a challenge in life. She schooled in dental assisting, nursing and always maintained a 94 grade average earning a high school letter which usally where awarded to the jocks only. She worked in customer care for health care benefits for locals of 1360, 27, and 1358 United Food and Commercial Workers for 5 years, left to raise her girls then secure a job working as a produce specialist. She loved playing sports, fishing, times enjoying the sun either at the beach or at Mom and Dad's pool with her girls. She had such a zest for life, her wonderful sense of humor was so great she even nicknamed herself Wedgie Women while talking on the cb radio, referred to me as Turd Girl, I still think the phone will ring and I will hear those words. Her humor and wonderful smile is missed daily by her 3 sisters and 2 brothers also along with Dad and I , the girls and the rest of her family and friends. I will alway be in awe of her.

No words I write can ever say
How much I miss you everyday.
As time goes by, the loneliness grows,
How I miss you, nobody knows.
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name.
But all I have are memories,
And a photo in a frame.
No one see's me weep.
But the love I have for you,
Is in my heart, and mine to keep.
I have never stopped loving you
And I know I never will.
Deep inside my heart,
You are with me still.
Heartaches, this world are many,
But mine is worse than any.
My heart still aches, as I whisper low,
"I need you... and miss you so."
The things we feel so deeply
Are often the hardest things to say.
But I just can't keep quiet anymore,
So I'll tell you any ways.
There is a place within my heart
That no one else can fill.
I love you.. and I always will!

~Author Unknown~

Light a candle for Michelle

Michelle's MySpace

Michelle's Find A Grave

View Old GuestBook

This RingSurf-Angel Moms
site is owned by
Connie *Michelle's Mom*.

Want to join the ring? Click here for info.

[ Skip Next | Next 5 Sites ]
[ Random Site | List Sites ]
[ Previous 5 Sites | Skip Previous]
[ Previous | Next ]

Background and graphics by:
Memorials By Judi